October 25, 2014 will be one year since my family has ventured into foster care in the state of Kansas. In that time, NINE children have come into our home!! This means God has used us to either introduce or reintroduce His name to them. Each of these children has been shown or taught of God's mercy.
As I look back over the last year, we have changed and grown as a family! I went from feeling like I had entered into a world of elation, to feeling like I just barely survive some days. However, I also know that this is the road our family was meant to go down. As I think about each child that has come and gone, I wonder if I have done enough. Then I have to think again of God's love and admit that I couldn't do it all. It's not my path to save or adopt every child that needs somebody. I can only do what He allows me to do.
My husband has come to learn a few things about himself as well. He has changed again as we entered into the foster care world and with each child he has learned something new. He even reached out to one of our foster children and offered for him to call him anytime after he went home. That particular child has since gone home and has checked in with us a few times. It's so great to know he is doing well.
Our children have changed also. Our daughter has had to learn what it means to be a true sister and share her room with another girl. It is nothing short of a miracle that she and I both survived! Our son has also had to learn what it means to have a "big brother". It means, that no matter how hard you try, the older one always needs some alone time. Sometimes, little brothers don't always get to play what they want when they want. Each child has also learned that the world is not perfect. Sometimes, things happen to people and we don't know why.
I wouldn't change the last year for a year of calm. Even though we have been busy with several different children's activities and finding time for ourselves, God has seen me through each new thing. I have witnessed children that have lived through severe neglect and horrible physical abuse. Some of them have suffered great things no one should ever have to see or go through. Two girls have touched my heart. They are strong and don't even know how strong they are. I pray for them as they enter my mind.
Foster care is a hard thing to do. No one said it would be easy. As a matter of fact, I was told in the beginning it would be hard and that person wasn't sure I was cut out for it. I would have to say, I agree with them. It's not easy and some days I wonder myself if I am cut out for it. BUT, then I remind myself, the benefits are much more heavenly. I need to be outside of myself to do this. For it is ONLY with Christ's love and help that we make it through things we don't normally see ourselves doing.
"May the Lord direct your hearts to God's love and Christ's endurance." 2 Thessalonians 3:5
